Thursday, March 20, 2014

Barneyism of the Week - The Game

Boys, today is your lucky day.
Because today I'm gonna teach you how to…
(vomits) live.

“I'm sorry, how exactly are you
gonna teach us how to live?” - Random Guy #1

The journey to awesome starts with a single…
Actually, lots of singles.
We're going to a strip club.

“Strip club? We're in the middle of nowhere.” - Random Guy #2

There is always a strip club.

Question: Why does this sign say "gentlemen's club"?
Answer: Because The Crab Shed is a place for gentlemen.

A gentleman tips generously.
A gentleman uses the complimentary bathroom cologne,
but not too much.

Oh, this is important.
Your instinct may be to avoid the free buffet.
Your instinct is wrong.
Don't sleep on the meatballs, gentlemen.
They are exquisite! Come on!

A few final thoughts.
Don't get married until you're 30.
Play laser tag once a week.
Give at least as many high fives as you get.
Teacup pigs are lady magnets,
but very hard to care for.
Not worth the effort.
The same goes for dogs and babies.
And most importantly, whatever you do in this life,
it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.

Good luck, boys.
Take care of the game for me.

How I Met Your Mother - Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson
- Barney Stinson


How I Met Your Mother
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